Standing in the middle of a hall. The ceiling lit bright with lights dancing. More than 200 people around me. Dancing, smiling and having a nice time. Why do I feel like the odd one out?
I feel empty.
The music plays at maximum volume. Why doesn’t it reach me? Why do I feel like I am standing in the middle of a dark empty hall with no effect of the dancing lights or the music? The silence feels immensely cold and the room feels pitch-black with me alone in the middle of the room.
I feel like drowning in an ocean and suffocating with no one listening to my screams for help. The harder I scream, the deeper the gravity pulls me towards the darkest depths of the ocean. The harder I try to escape the more I indulge in the ocean of loneliness.
As I try to revert my attention to focus on the real world, I feel numbness. I raise my finger to clean the drop of tear I felt I had but the tear is not in my eye… it is in my heart. Today, my heart cries… these tears are not visible but hurt much more than normal tears. I can feel my heartbeat telling me it misses your presence, yet I smile and remind the heart “I have your memories”.
As I stand in the middle of room, a hand approached my shoulder and on touch my heart stops beating for a second just thinking is that really you? I turn thinking my mood will enlighten like a lost bird that found its nest. As I turned I realize it can’t be you and the only thing I have is the memories about us.
I only wish, it would have been perfect if life would have us together.
I saw and it was another person, we started to talk, I had a smile on my face as nothing was wrong but behind the smile was a heart that cries every second like a river. The music beats tend to call out your name and every beat reminds me of the time I lost of not being with you. My heart feels upset and I feel like fading away into the jungles of emptiness.
I decide to walk out. I say good night to the stranger who tried to talk to me and walk out. I look in the sky and feel as empty as an empty sky as you are not there with me…
I realized one thing, I feel alone even in the middle of a crowd.