As I sit in the plane to fly back home… the plane is waiting in queue to take off and fly to Dusseldorf.
The seat beside me has someone sitting but it is not you… I am upset that you are not with me. I want to cry as I miss you. I want to hide because I am not able to look at you.
The plane is ready for takeoff and the cabin crew explained the safety instructions. I listen but I wonder why is it that I just see them moving their hands and not hear anything. Is it because my dream of traveling with you is still a dream and not a reality? Is it because I did not want to explore anything in the beautiful city of Lisbon because you were not with me?
Alternatively, is it because I could not try a new traditional restaurant from the city with you?
I want to experience life with you!
So many questions and the answer lies in three words. The three words, which always make me sad but also give me hope of the future. If the time is right, we will be together. If it is meant to be, we will be together. The three words… “I want you,” mean a lot. I just want to be by your side and enjoy the beautiful city. Your presence makes it perfect… you make it perfect…
Your beauty makes the city more vibrant. The glow and shine in your eyes give me hope. The memories I had with you give me a reason to think of a future. The future where I live on the memories of us together, the memories of us holding hands, the memories of us walking together, the memories of us sharing food and the memories of just looking at you smile and you observing nature.
You are the most beautiful lady I know, you are the most amazing lady I know…
The plane is on the runway ready for takeoff, I want to hold your hand gives it a kiss; tell you how beautiful you are and how much I love you. However, I hold the seat handle instead and look outside. What confuses me is nature? It is drizzling rain. I wonder is nature upset because I am upset or is it tears of joy. The feeling I get from the droplets is different. The clouds feel my pain of being lonely in this crowded world.
It seems they understand how empty my heart is when you are not there. They know how much I miss you and what you mean to me.
The plane takes off and I look outside the window and I see hope. I see beauty. I see clouds reflecting beautiful rays from the sun in a very artistic pattern. All I can think is imagining you sitting beside me holding hands and observing the clouds telling you how gorgeous you are, how perfect you are, how bright your eyes are and how much you being in my life calms me.
The plane experiences turbulence and I think is that a wakeup call from the nature that reality is different. It could also be a message, that after every rainy day, you will see perfection. This makes me wonder does nature tell me if you will be in my life.
As the plane is about to land, the view of the city of Dusseldorf looks amazing. What is a view when you are not there? How could I observe the beauty of nature when the perfect partner is not there beside me? What is a view when I do not see you observe it?
What is life when you are not in it?
However, nature gave me another lesson today, if it rains. The cloud loses its beauty and dissolves away. If I let your memories away, I shall also dissolve away…
The plane lands and people accolade the pilot on the smooth landing and yet I am busy thinking about you. People start leaving the plane. I smile as I see a person with his loved one going out from the plane holding hands. My heart overpowers my brain and I feel that I miss you a lot. I realize that I still love you a lot and you mean everything to me.
I want to fly back home… I feel like crying. I want to an approval from you…
Let me cry … let me cry…
Please let me cry…
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